It’s War!
Tubsie Francois and Faggy Farage are waving Union Jacks in purple-faced anger over the latest French outrage. Their clarion call is for all Brave Brits to keep marching on the spot. Collect pies, bangers and mash and show those garlic-eating, cheese-eating French fishermen that international waters and all that swim in them have been and always will be British.
Our plucky gun boats are fully rigged and charged up ready to land at Calais to reclaim our rightful possessions, Normandy, Angevin, Aquitaine and Brittany.
If our brave fishermen, their trawler (Canadian owned and staffed by Pakistanis) and our happy British fish are not restored by the next full tide Captain Bullington-Broadside will row out in an Eton skiff and scuttle himself after giving the order to bomb Paris.
As the Noble Lord Frostie said:
“What’s the point of a treaty we’ve agreed and signed!“
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